1. I’m female, genetically and psychologically.
2. I was born on October 17, 1965.
3. I have soft wavy dark brown hair.
4. I like to tell people that I’m a natural blonde but that I dye my hair dark to deflect all that attention.
5. No one ever believes me.
6. I have dark brown eyes.
7. And what most people would call an olive complexion.
7 1/2. Click here for a photo of moi.
8. I have nice teeth without benefit of braces, thankyouverymuch.
9. I am wicked nearsighted.
10. I wear contact lenses most of the time.
11. But I’ve been told that my current glasses make me look kinda sexy so I’ve been wearing them more.
12. My first couple of pairs of glasses as a kid? Not so sexy.
13. And kids are cruel.
14. But I’m not bitter.
15. Usually.
16. Cynical, yes. I am that.
17. I define a cynic as an optimist who has been disappointed a few times too many.
18. I am NOT a pessimist.
19. Even though things rarely go right for me lately.
20. But still.
21. I have short eyelashes.
22. I blame them on wearing glasses as a kid, thereby stunting their growth.
23. I hate people with long eyelashes.
24. Especially men.
25. Okay, I’m just jealous.
26. It isn’t fair, really.
27. I don’t wear a lot of makeup, but I almost never leave the house without concealer on the circles under my eyes.
28. I think mascara is the work of the devil.
29. I don’t wear mascara.
30. Yech.
31. I have had two sets of piercings in my ear lobes.
32. I’ve let the second set close up.
33. They were always sore and not worth the trouble.
34. I have no tattoos or other piercings.
35. I don’t want any, either.
36. I would, however, love to have Indian henna tattooing done.
37. Those are spectacularly beautiful.
38. And they’re temporary.
39. But slightly less temporary than those kiddie stick-on ones.
40. Not that I’ve tried those.
41. I was brought up Jewish.
42. I can’t believe it took me until number 41 to mention it.
43. Although I am not particularly religious, I do strongly identify with my Jewishness.
44. I love chopped liver.
45. My mother’s brisket is the best I’ve ever tasted and, believe me, I’ve tasted quite a few briskets in my day.
46. I’m also a huge fan of noodle kugel.
47. No, I don’t think Judaism is all about the food.
48. But the food’s a nice bonus.
49. There’s not a single healthy thing in the Jewish cooking tradition, unless you look at chicken fat as being significantly less bad for you than lard.
50. I like the way that Word is automatically numbering these entries.
51. I thought it would be kind of a hassle.
52. But it’s snot.
53. I’m very tall for a woman.
54. My feet are in proportion to my body.
55. If they were much smaller, I’d probably tip over.
56. I have nice hands, with long, slender fingers.
57. There aren’t many parts of me I’d describe as slender.
58. How is it they put it on Match.com?
59. Ah yes: A few extra pounds.
60. I have at least as many issues about my body as your average woman, but overall I think I’m pretty attractive.
61. I have excellent cleavage.
62. Thank you. Thank you very much.
63. I’m also, you know, kinda smart.
64. And stuff.
65. And I really care about my friends and family.
66. The latter group can be a challenge at times.
67. Especially my mother.
68. Just ask my sister.
69. It’s important to me to be a caring person of good moral character.
70. I think those kinds of things are way more important than being hot.
71. Although I’m that, too.
72. Heh.
73. I once won a jelly bean guess when I was about 8 years old.
74. The prize was a big honkin’ jug o’ jelly beans.
75. I ate jelly beans until I was sick.
76. And then I ate some more.
77. I’m not a big fan of the jelly bean these days, although the occasional Jelly Belly or Teenie Beanie craving must be dealt with.
78. It’s a sickness. I know.
79. Speaking of sweets, dark chocolate is my favorite.
80. I was kind of a late bloomer, sexually.
81. I won’t say how old I was, but I’m pretty sure I was older than you were.
82. I didn’t even masturbate until my twenties.
83. Unless you count humping Barbie.
84. Barbie was HOT.
85. I was a political science major at the University of Vermont.
86. I earned my law degree from Case Western Reserve University.
87. I prosecuted cases and defended indigents in criminal district court in Ohio while I was a student.
88. I was voted Student of the Year by my graduating law school class.
89. I was not the valedictorian.
90. Not by a long shot.
91. I don’t see myself as Ms. Popularity, which made it that much more surprising and flattering that they voted for me.
92. I do make friends fairly easily, I guess.
93. I don’t, however, make boyfriends very easily.
94. Have I mentioned that I’m single?
95. If you know any tall single smart witty men in the Boston area, please send them my way.
96. And did I mention I live in Boston?
97. Jamaica Plain East Boston, to be exact.
98. I’m always leaving out important details like that.
99. Like that I’m the youngest of three sisters. No brothers.
100. I’m the baby.
101. Oh, yeah.
102. She is the oldest. She rocks.
103. We grew up in a smallish town on the Massachusetts seashore, about 25 miles northeast of Boston.
104. When I tell people I’m from there, they automatically assume we were rich.
105. We weren’t.
106. My mother makes me crazy.
107. I’m still mad at my father for dying and leaving me/us to deal with her for the past decade.
108. And yet I love her to pieces.
109. She still makes me crazy.
110. But my relationship with her and the surrounding issues are what’s gonna send my therapist’s kids to college, so it’s not a total loss.
111. I think if 100 Things are good, then 111 Things are even better.