Last week I checked in with Mother Ju to see what assignments we had from my cousin Jackie Ju for Thanksgiving dinner. Mother Ju told me we were responsible for an appetizer, the turkey, and a dessert. I suggested we talk over the weekend to figure out who would do what (besides the turkey, because she is the turkey master dominatrix and I wouldn’t even think of getting in her way on that*) and break down the responsibilities.
I called her Sunday night.
Cynical Ju: Hi Mom. It’s Cynical.
Mother Ju: I remember you! (This is her favorite little witticism. It annoys me. One day I know she really won't remember me, and then who'll be laughing? Oh, forget it.)
CJ: I thought you might. So what are my assignments for Thursday?
MJ: Well, I already made sweet and sour meatballs to bring for an appetizer. I thought we could do a fruit bowl for dessert, since there will be a bunch of other pies and cakes.
CJ: Sounds like a great idea! Don’t buy the fruit. I’ll pick that up and bring it to your house when I come.
MJ: I already have a pineapple so don’t get that!
CJ: Great! DON’T BUY ANY MORE FRUIT. I will take care of that, and I’ll cut it up at your house.
MJ: Okay, sweetheart.
CJ: Mom?
MJ: Yes, honey?
CJ: Don’t. Buy. Fruit.
MJ: (laughing) I won’t.
Last night (Tuesday) I called her on my way to the supermarket but she wasn’t home. I didn’t leave a message, but knew she would see my call on her Caller ID and call me back. Sure enough, I had just come home from the supermarket with A LOT OF DELICIOUS, NOT TO MENTION EXPENSIVE, FRUIT when the phone rang.
Cynical Ju: (Seeing her name on the Caller ID) Hi Mom.
Mother Ju: Don’t buy fruit!
Argh. She bought fruit. Who saw that coming?
Anybody need some grapes or cantaloupe? I seem to have some extras.
*I have been known to make a fan-freakin’-tastic turkey myself, and I say that with what I believe is an excess of humility, but have only done so when I have been away from my immediate family for Thanksgiving. In law school, I hosted very popular Turkey Day dinners all three years for my friends who also weren’t going home for the holiday. Mother Ju will brook no turkey-roasting competition in her kitchen so, when I’m with her for the occasion, I no longer even offer to help with that.
Uhm I like fruits...err I mean fruit! =)
Posted by: Lauren on November 24, 2004 12:09 PMWho the hell needs S & S meatballs as an appetizer for a meal of turkey and stuffing? That's right up there with saying, "I prepared steak and a baked potato for you to snack on before dinner, but save room for dessert, because I baked cheese cake in individual 9" pans for each and everyone of you."
Why are we so fat?
Posted by: jadedju on November 24, 2004 05:09 PMLauren does like fruits... err fruit.
Oh and I will have no others in my turkey time either. My kitchen, get out.
Posted by: C on November 24, 2004 10:29 PMShelley, oh this sounds eerily similar to my
mother...too similar!
Shelley, with those turkey talents, you are DOUBLY invited for Christmas! Think I'm gonna do my first bird. And I have the same redundancy problem with my in-laws...they make EXACTLY what they tell me to bring (and they make it better). So this year I asked, then made bread anyways. Seemed to work...
Posted by: lily on November 26, 2004 03:12 PM