Well, pooh. Meh. Feh. Bleh, even.

If he asks, I demand that you go out with him again. What most of us consider "chemistry" is the electric feeling one gets when in contact with a person who is entirely inappropriate.

Well, y'know, the jaded one may be onto something there. I really wasn't sure there was chemistry with Mr. Wonderful on the first date. And lookit us now. I'm just sayin'. You nevah know.

Eh. I feel reasonably confident that he won't ask but, for the record, I always agree to a second date unless I think the guy is an irredeemable freak.

Also for the record, when I refer to "chemistry" with regard to dating, I am not referring simply to sexual attraction. There is a chemistry of friendship, an attraction of minds, that is an absolute necessity for two people (one of whom being me in this scenario) to want to get to know one another better. As nice as he was, that chemistry was noticeably absent.

And finally, whenever I meet someone and discover we know someone in common, it never works out. Sure enough, this guy's brother-in-law is related to distant (but local and very tall -- hint, hint) cousins of the Ju family.

Obviously it wasn't meant to be. (I'm only sort of kidding.)

"this guy's brother-in-law is related to distant (but local and very tall -- hint, hint) cousins of the Ju family"...huh? What?

either I've had too much to drink (very possible) or is this something like the gardner's sister's dog groomer's 2nd cousin twice removed, kinda situation? In other words, the relationship,or knowledge of common friends, does not appear to me (again maight be too much to drink [an aside, there was a basketball game on tonight] back to the point at hand) to be close enough to warrant total dismisal (sp?, eh don't care).

Anyway , I play pool too, any chance I could beat you pants off? (just kidding...)

Nah, it's not the fact that he knows my cousin (or that his sister is married to someone who is also related to my cousin) (or that his cleaning lady's step-brother is the godfather to my uncle's sister-in-law) (okay, I made up that last one) that makes this unlikely to work out. (And the hint was for my sister, so you didn't miss anything.) It's merely an observation that (coincidentally, I assume) things never seem to work out when a guy I go out with knows someone I know. In theory, it seems like a plus to know people in common, and I'm completely willing to view it that way. It just never pans out -- even when the people we know in common have only good things to say about either of us. Weird, huh?

And yes, you've probably had too much to drink, and I have not had nearly enough, both of which might possibly impact your likelihood of getting my pants off. But I love you for even joking about wanting to. A girl can get a fragile ego from this whole dating thing.

Ah, the elusive chemistry that everyone looks for...it isn't always sexual chemistry though sometimes that can be more than enough. You are so right, meeting of the minds or even wanting to know someone further than a game of pool or three is just as important...

I'm making a New Year's resolution, for 2005, not to go on any dates. Mind you, it's not that I don't want to. Just that, when I reach the end of the year, and find that to be the case, I can view it with a certain sense of accomplishment.

TJ, I commend your realistic view of the world.

And by "observation" don't you really mean "irrational superstition"?

Try him again. Maybe his nerves were shot -- I imagine you can be intimidating.

um ... no advice here. Perhaps Olivia should decide. If he likes her and she likes him, then maybe it's worth a look. If she doesn't like him, then off with his head! (Is that too harsh?)

Go on that second date. You never know.

Okay, gang, I totally appreciate all of your suggestions, but there can't be a second date if the guy never contacts me again. Which is what happens after a first date with a distinct lack of that little thing we here at Cynical: A Life like to call "hitting it off."

I agree with Sister Ju (especially the bad stimulation part...I used to be addicted to that, but who hasnt been?). But if he doesnt call, you're free...we should get off your back. That said, the man who is now my husband didnt remotely interest me for the first month of our dates. I just decided that if I didnt lead him on, and going to a movie was better than ANOTHER use of those two hours...why not go? We were both ambivalent for a delightfully long time...no pressure, just chillin (so NOT my style, as you know). That lead to several dates, over which we actually FOUND (or rather BUILT) commonality. Its like some slow-percolating experiment rather than the bang! and flash of light. (then again, I had to hit my head to SEE said light). Really, the more frogs you get to kiss, the better reading it is for us, right? I just want you to find someone who is kick-ass in BED...you deserve THAT in one of these cute frogs!

Lily just reminded me of something, (after I type this you'll wonder how I could forget it) anyway, when I first met my wife I thought she was nice enough to be around, but I "didn't want a serious relationship". That was my quote to her. Just friends I said. Nothing more, absolutely nothing more, and then we got married 7 months later. eh who knew things could happen so fast.

Get drunker next time!? =0)

LOL at Easycure.

Shel! Looking forward to hangin' wit you later tonight!! :o)