I'm not much for making resolutions, but this is a good time to take stock of the past year and think about some of the things I am grateful for.

Being alive.
Being in good health.
Amazing real-life friends.
Some pretty swell online friends.
Having a family that loves me, even when they annoy me.
I finally started reading again in 2004.
Living in a nice apartment.
Having just about enough money to keep this nice roof over my head, plus a tiny bit left over to contribute to some causes I believe in.
A stable job. (No, not a job IN a stable. Stay focused, people.)
Intelligent and companionable work colleagues.
Membership at a gym with a swimming pool.
The ability to go swimming pretty much any time I want.
A car that runs.
A beach chair with which to reserve my shoveled parking spot when I leave.
(Just kidding on that last one.)
(I use a stove to reserve my spot instead.)
(Still kidding.)
Netflix membership.
Holiday mint chocolate KitKats.
My sweet calico kitty cat.
My eMac.
DSL.
A DVD player.
The continued ability to laugh at myself and take myself only just so seriously.
The ability to see beauty and wonder in the world around me.
The ability to find humor in difficult situations.
Compassion for the difficulties in my own and other people's lives.
Pride in my accomplishments and those of the people I care about.

In 2000, I was so unhappy that I wondered if I would live to see 2005. Today, I only wonder WHAT I will see and experience in 2005. May 2005 be a year of exploration, passion, learning, wonder, joy, and fulfillment for all of us. Happy New Year to each of my blogalicious friends!

I hope I can manage to squeeze in some time to celebrate Jen's birthday with her and a few friends this evening ... in between my hectic vacation schedule of reading, sleeping, eating, watching movies, watching television, and sleeping some more.

Yeah. I'll be there, but you can see that I'll probably have to be a little late, what with my conflicting appointments and such.

"Take that stuff off your face before your mother sees you. "

R.I.P. Jerry Orbach

I can attest to the fact that there are some really wonderful single heterosexual men out there. In fact, I went on a date with one of them tonight. He was a perfect gentleman in every respect. He was smart. He was interesting. He was attractive. He beat the pants off of me, euphemistically speaking, in two out of three games of pool. (I got his pants off just the one time. And it was masterful, even if I do say so.)

Unfortunately, there was no chemistry whatsoever. None. Whatsoever.

Even sans pants.

::heavy sigh::

I don't mean to be cranky on this lovely Christmas Eve but, pray tell, what is WITH all the people in my neighborhood inviting half the world over to their houses tonight, leaving no parking spot for sweet little me?

Sigh.

The good news is that I got all my last bits of shopping done, and my laundry is clean, too. I am as lemon-fresh as I can possibly be this holiday season, much to everybody's great relief.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night. (And take your car with you when you leave, won't you?)

You'd think, being a Ju and all, that I wouldn't need to venture out into the insanity of last-minute Christmas shopping. You would think that, and you would be terribly, terribly wrong. See, it's true that, what with being a Ju and all, I don't have a huge list of family members for whom to buy gifts, and I don't even have a huge number of friends with whom I exchange gifts. But what I do have is a small, select group of people and animals for whom I buy gifts at this time of year, including a family member with a Christmas-y birthday. What I also have is a tendency to (a) procrastinate, and (2) underestimate how long it will take me to do the shopping for them, so I inevitably end up in the midst of shopping mayhem on December 24th. Which is where I am headed now. At 1 p.m. On Christmas Eve.

Wish me luck. And goodwill toward men bad drivers the other stragglers.

Cynibert's Honorable Mention Movies of 2004:

Sideways
Closer
Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (HI-larious)
A Very Long Engagement
Phantom of the Opera

Movies released (or to be released) in 2004 that I haven't seen but plan to, and which could be in the running for a Top Ten or Honorable Mention:

The Aviator
Motorcycle Diaries
Phantom of the Opera
Hotel Rwanda
Moolade'
A Very Long Engagement
Vera Drake
Kinsey
Untold Scandal
Bad Education
Million Dollar Baby

By the way, I saw Tarnation and I cannot, for the life of me, understand why any of the critics have put it on their top 10 lists. I found the first full hour to be excruciatingly painful, in the boring sense, not the emotionally challenging sense. After that, it was at least interesting but far from compelling. The story could have been fascinating (to me) if told differently, but I found this to be just a passable film.

I know it's a little early to name my top 10 movies of 2004, especially since there are quite a few movies that have yet to open in Boston (and elsewhere) that will be released before the end of the year. Still, she told me to make a Top Ten list right this minute, and I'm nothing if not obedient so ... in no particular order, here they are:

- The Incredibles

- Finding Neverland

- Touching the Void

- Ray

- Before Sunset

- Garden State

- Saved!

- SuperSize Me

- De-Lovely

- Fahrenheit 9/11, but only when viewed on a double bill with Control Room

TJ, Paul, and Robyn have also threatened to post Top Ten Movie Lists sometime today, so check 'em out.

Guess who lunched with the lovely and talented and smart and gorgeous and funny and wicked cool luvabeans yesterday. Just guess.

No matter how much anyone tells you (and the package proclaims) that Sugar Twin Brown Sugar Replacement is great for baking, do not believe them. I cannot get the nasty aftertaste out of my mouth after one little bite and had to throw away an entire pan of what looked like (and should have been) chocolatey goodness. Good thing I made a massive batch of peanut butter chocolate chip cookies with real brown sugar for the big Cookie Swap today. Carbs never tasted so good.

There's all sorts of exciting stuff going on in blogland this week. Pretty much nothing is going on here at Cynical: A Life productions, so you might want to go and share all the good news and exciting goings-on at some of these sites:

Suzie and Tim have conceived their very first Sock, and they're trying to remember whether they promised to give it to the devil or to name it Damon Manny Varitek Orlando Ortiz;

Beth and the Dane tied the knot on the sly;

Turning into a giggly 12 year-old girl becomes House9;

Charlie is wondering which archetype he'd be if he went to prison, which makes me wonder what he's been up to lately;

Marcie (a.k.a. Dogs Don't Purr) showed her painted boobies on TV and if you missed it them, they'll be on again December 20th;

Artichoke Heart is still AWOL;

Anna and her sister Meg have a fun Christmas Adventure Game for you to try;

Dave is the koolest dad at skool;

Suzette might have gone over the edge is bursting with holiday spirit;

JadedJu is still my favorite sister, even if she doesn't post nearly enough for my taste;

Chuck got a reasonably clean bill of health, which apparently made the rest of his 87-person (give or take) household sick, including the hamster in the freezer;

Brian was on the 11 o'clock news, but fortunately it had absolutely nothing to do with the way he's been waving around his new set of knives;

Jen is enjoying all the social gatherings of the season, even the ones she isn't blogging about;

Spatch presents the second annual airing of the Cat Town Christmas Special (in case you missed it last year, or if you'd like to make it an annual tradition like Rudolph and Frosty);

and a paaaaaaaaaaartridge in a pear treeeeeeeeeeeeee.

My office is doing a Cookie Swap instead of a Yankee Swap or other holiday celebration this year. I've never done this before. So, for the uninitiated among you, a cookie swap is where each person bakes a certain amount of cookies (usually a dozen, but we're doing a 1/2 dozen) for *each* other person in the group, so everyone goes home with as many cookies as they arrived with, but now they have a variety of cookie creations from the different chefs. I'm making a recipe my mom and I used to make together when I was in high school, always a big hit at those school and temple bake sales. Have to swing by Mother Ju's place to dig up the recipe today ... since she's away, maybe I'll just do a little laundry and take a nap while I'm there, in addition to watering the plants and gathering the mail, as I've been instructed to do. Dinner with my old pal Guillaume tonight. Ta!

If they turn out as good as I remember, I'll post the recipe later ....

Oooooh. A trailer for the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, right here. I can't wait.

Three names you go by: Shelley, Shell, Shellstress
Three screen names you have: cynicallife, wrygirl, shello
Three things you like about yourself: My quick wit, my caring nature, my hands
Three things you dislike about yourself: I'm a procrastinator, I'm judgmental (shut up), and I worry more than I should about being well-liked.
Three parts of your heritage: Jewish, Russian-Polish, guilt-ridden
Three things that scare you: Being alone forever, the phone ringing in the middle of the night (presumably with bad news), losing my sight.
Three of your every day essentials: under-eye concealer, Blistex, Sweet 'n' Low
Three things you are wearing right now: UVM sweatshirt, pajama bottoms, glasses (man, I'm H-O-T on my day off).
Three of your favorite bands/artists: Van Morrison, Joan Armatrading, Sarah McLachlan
Three of your favorite songs at present: Drunkard on a Drunkard's Grave (The Great Crusades), Crazy Love (Ray Charles with Van Morrison), Diary (Alicia Keys).
Three things you want in a relationship: passion, trust, laughter
Three things you want to try in the next 12 months: Find a new job, fall in love, travel to Greece.
Two truths and a lie: I can wiggle my ears, I watch All My Children religiously, and I never lie.
Three physical things about the opposite (or same) sex that appeal to you: Hands, eyes, a genuine smile
Three things you just can't do: Sing on key, be on time, see without glasses or contacts
Three of your favorite hobbies: Going to movies and live theater, reading, laughing
Three things you want to do really badly right now: See a movie; eat popcorn with lots of butter; share a hot, buttery kiss.
Three careers you are considering: I'm not considering any new careers, just new jobs.
Three places you want to go on vacation: Greece, Italy, Worcester.
Three kids names: Henry, Avital, Shaniqua.
Three things you want to do before you die: Have sex again, be passionately loved and in love, travel more or less around the world.
Three people you would like to take this quiz now: Polerand, Beth, Abbie.

I actually left a comment on a blog yesterday that said, "Judge not, lest ye be judged." And I really meant it. I probably left myself so freaking wide open it's ridiculous. Good thing I couldn't possibly care any less about what the person to whom it was directed will think of me for it. I just can't stand it when people pronounce judgments about others when they are hardly living model lives themselves, yet don't see that they are basically hypocrites. Most of us at least acknowledge the inherent irony/hypocrisy in it when we judge others (and c'mon, we all do it from time to time). But not this particular person.

And for the record, I don't read the blog of the person I directed the comment to. I only see the person's comments on the blogs of other people we know/read in common. I know for a fact that this person has been banned from at least one blog and their comments on other blogs have been deleted on multiple occasions for inappropriateness.

But I'm not judging.

Well, maybe just a smidge.

As I waved goodbye to my overnight guest this morning, I scanned the headlines of the Globe sitting on my front stoop. I carried my paper back up to my apartment and sank into a chair at the kitchen table, dumbfounded. I don't know which front page story affected me more: Sc*tt Petersen's death sentence or Pedro going to the Mets.

I can't say I was stunned by either story but both surprised me. I figured that the lack of specific material evidence against Petersen would have led to a life sentence. I don't doubt whether he was guilty. I personally think he should have to live for a good, long time getting abused by his fellow inmates at San Quentin for his heinous crimes. Besides, a life sentence actually costs us taxpayers less than a death sentence, what with all the appeals and such. So with a life sentence, we as a society could get to be vengeful AND economical at the same time. And we wouldn't need to actually take another life, which was what (I thought) we were supposed to be condemning Petersen for anyway.

As for Pedro, I thought he might actually have some genuine affection for this city and the team with which he won the World Series. I can't say I feel as venomous about it as Dan Shaughnessy apparently does, but I thought there might be something extra keeping him here so long as the Sox showed him how much he is valued. I can't be inside the man's head and I surely have no idea whether that extra few mil and additional year in his Mets contract might improve his life over the next four years in ways that I can't comprehend. It just makes me extremely sad, is all. Pedro has been and will always be a crucial part of the great history of the Sox and the city of Boston. I'm truly sorry to see him go, and I'm just glad that he had some really great offers to choose from. He deserved that.

My friends' little four-year-old (the one who gave me the Chanukah bear-in-a-rocking-chair a couple of weeks ago) went to the mall with her daddy yesterday to get her picture taken with Santa. Today I got a copy of the picture (very nice; Santa looked stoned) followed by a phone call from daddy:

"Cassie told me last night that she needed to start shopping for Christmas, so I told her that's what her list was for, so Santa and I would know what to get her for Christmas.

"'No, daddy,' she said, 'I mean I need to start shopping for the people on my Christmas list.'"

So first of all, how many four-year-olds already grasp the concept of giving and not just receiving? (I swear, she's a prodigy.)

And who do you think was #1 on her list of people to buy gifts for this holiday season? (I figured her daddy would be #1, but no.)

Yeah. It was me.

I'm melting.

And I'm also panicking because I have no clue what I can get for her that (a) she doesn't already have, and (2) doesn't involve princesses, but (iii) she will actually like.

Lately it has seemed as though the "no good deed goes unpunished" thing might be pretty consistently accurate. But then, in the past few weeks, I have received completely unexpected and thoughtful birthday gifts from some present and former bloggers I know. And today, in case there was any doubt left in my mind, Tod has completely convinced me that I have been so very, very wrong. Last week I did something small for Tod (no, not that, you big pervs -- and I'm sure it would NOT have been small anyway), and today I discovered that he has done something extremely generous for me in return (nope, not that, either, but truly generous all the same). In so doing, Tod has confirmed my renewed faith in the kindness of virtual strangers -- and virtual friends, too. I am humbled. Stunned, grateful, and humbled.

Happy Chanukah!

Dangit, I know my menorah is around here somewhere .... *throwing stuff hither and yon*

What is with these little punks from California who are walking around in sweatshirts but no coats and open Birks with non-wool socks and complaining that the weather sucks here?

Holy crap, it’s cold today.

The view from my deck this evening ....

Let’s review:

- After doing “the hover” over the toilet, please be sure to wipe up any stray dribbles when you’re done. (Yeah, thanks.) Oh, and while you’re at it, if your hair (pubic or other) finds its way onto the seat, wipe that out of my way too, wouldya please? Especially the reeeeaaaaaally long hair. It’s almost worse than the pubes. Seriously.

- When I’m having a sugar craving in the late afternoon, I would appreciate it if you would leave me a snack in your desk drawer so that, when I rummage through your desk while you’re out, I find a suitable treat.

- Yes, I do did have grapes in the fridge. No, they did not do the trick.

- I have not missed being in a high school cafeteria. It had been 21 years since I stepped into one, until today. The smell is exactly the same, in case you were wondering. The students, however, are much younger and wear a lot less clothing.

- If you are the cute new guy in one of the other offices in my building, please do feel free to introduce yourself the next time I step over you on my way to the coffee maker.

- When I write back to you after you “wink” at me or show "interest" on one of those little online dating sites, please write something substantial in your response, as I did. “Thanx for writing. You sound cool. Let’s talk.” is not a substantial message. I have nothing more to go on than I did when I got the “wink” in the first place. I am now convinced that you’re just another one of those guys.

- Now I understand why some guy’s online alias is “Squidw@rd.” Thank you, SpongeBob. That’s been bothering me for more than two years.

- My friend Patty e-mailed me to confirm our plans to see Closer this weekend. She wrote: “I do know that it is rated R for sequences of graphic sexual dialogue, nudity/sexuality and language. Bonus.” Exactly my thought. Patty rocks.

Have a great weekend, all. Spambots, don’t even think of dropping anchor around here. There’s tinkle and pubes all over the place, I swear.

I am suffering from mascarpone cheese withdrawal this morning, and let me just say it's not pretty.

Dinner last night at The Dish with Jen was delectable. My entree, mustard-crusted pork tenderloin, was served with sweet potatoes mashed with mascarpone. Oh. My. God.

Then, the evil my dear friend Jen forced me to share a massive hunk of tiramisu made with, you guessed it, the evil mascarpone (along with a generous helping of Kahlua over delicate ladyfingers). Inhaling said tiramisu was completely against my will, you understand. I mean, just because it's my favorite dessert of all time, and just because it's not her favorite, and just because the fabulous waiter recommended it with the functional equivalent of two snaps up, and just because it was a belated celebration of my birthday and I was treated like a queen the entire evening ... well, it was still coercion. That's all I'm saying.

Also, I tried Pinot Noir for the first time last night on the recommendation of the waiter. Num. Oh! And our waiter turned out to be the manager of the Polka Dog Bakery, right across the street from the restaurant. My little Rosie enjoys their yummy treats and is almost exclusively outfitted with leashes and collars from the boutique downstairs in that fine establishment. If you have a dog in your life, you might consider picking up some treats or paraphernalia for him or her at the Polka Dog this holiday season.

Today is December 1, 2004. This is World AIDS Day, the annual day of international action on and awareness of HIV and AIDS. Read about it here, then see what you can do in your community.

Despite all the advances in fighting HIV and AIDS, today people are still contracting these diseases needlessly and a cure has yet to be found. Whereas women at one time made up just a small fraction of new cases, they now represent nearly half of the identified cases. More education is needed. More research is needed. More funding is needed. More and cheaper medicine is needed. More compassion and commitment are needed.

Footnote: Does anyone else remember Day Without Art? I haven't heard anything about that since about 2000. I always thought that was a pretty cool idea, coupled with World AIDS Day, especially since so many of our great artists have been lost to HIV and AIDS, including my friend David Jamieson. Oh! I found a picture of one of his works online here. It's not as powerful a piece as the one of which I have a print, but it's quite beautiful all the same. When I think about all the talented people who have died from this disease ... it makes my heart hurt.