Would it bother you if one of your allegedly close friends got married and didn't tell you the big news until 3 months later?
Would it change things if:
1) The friend lived in another country and was waiting to see you in person to share the news?
2) The friend and the now-spouse had been together for more than a decade and you knew they were going to "tie the knot" one of these days anyway so it wasn't exactly a big surprise?
3) One of your mutual close friends not only knew about it months before you did but was actually at the wedding and agreed not to tell you about it?
4) Other than that one mutual friend, only the bride's and groom's immediate families attended the ceremony?
5) When the newlywed(s) did share the big news with you, they did so with a crowd of people around -- all of whom knew before you did (and none of them family members) -- and gave no reason for keeping this from you besides wanting to tell you in person?
6) You might be feeling sorry for yourself for being hopelessly single and over [fill in the age of your choice]?
Posted by cynical at October 22, 2006 12:08 PMI have to say ... I think that's kinda shitty. It makes no sense not to tell you.
And, what's wrong with being "hopelessly single" at [insert age here]? (Post-b-day blues?)
I'd be more upset at my "friends'" deception (all of them).
Posted by: shelley (not-so-cynical) on October 22, 2006 12:40 PMI dunno. People behave strangely when they're getting married (stress, planning, trying to keep the ceremony from becoming a 750-person sit down extravaganza, yadda yadda), so I wouldn't take it personally. ;)
Posted by: Jen on October 22, 2006 01:44 PMEventually I would get over it but yes it would bother me. Email is free and convenient. Would it bother them if you don't give them a gift for the occasion?
Posted by: karan on October 22, 2006 03:46 PMSeems odd to me...I would think they would have wanted to tell everyone as soon as they decided to tie the knot...whether it would have been a large (or in this case very intimate) wedding.
Posted by: Woody on October 23, 2006 08:59 AMUhm yeah. I tend to agree with NSC Shelley, that was rather "shitty". Like Karan said, email is free for pities sake. I suppose it would be rather pettey to wait three months before you say congratulations right? =) But then again I am petty that way.
Posted by: Lauren on October 23, 2006 10:41 AMI would have to agree and question the motivation in this kind of thing....kinda bizarre really when you think about it...what with the technology we have today!!!
Posted by: Barb on October 23, 2006 11:06 AMThe only opinion I have about friends getting married is "better them than me."
Shelley, you're the awesomest. Single, married, or upside down and stuffed into a blender.
(A non-working blender, of course.)
Posted by: TJ on October 23, 2006 11:41 AMwell, I'd hate to be on the receiving end of all that, but I'm also oversensitive (and sometimes consider that my best trait, other times not). But I also know from the planning-a-wedding experience that its hard to accomodate every person's needs about your own wedding. I know I pissed off some people...I had to set boundaries and make tough decisions. Some people understood, some not. Some people cant disappoint their friends, some friends cant deal. Ultimately, its about the couple getting married...its their call. That said, my feelings would still be hurt.
Posted by: meg on October 23, 2006 05:46 PMIt's not just you. People do things sometimes with great thought and foresight with no intention to "slight" people yet, they still do, and then sometimes people don't think or plan ahead and are just insensitive...who knows?
Posted by: sally on October 26, 2006 05:46 PMIf it meant not having to go to another wedding I'd be pretty ok with it. Unless, of course you're one of those people who love going to weddings.
Posted by: Christopher on November 2, 2006 02:20 PM