I had no idea that we were in the midst of a serious mohel shortage. Personally, I can't imagine a job where, if you do it right, your "customer" has a 90% likelihood of crying when you're done. As it is, my employer pays for my tissues because I sometimes make people cry, but they're definitely in the minority. (A significant minority, but still nowhere near a majority ... who, by the way, do not cry when they meet with me.)
Most of my relatives have chosen to have the ritual circumcision for their newborn sons done at the hospital with only the immediate family present, and have later had a "naming" ceremony at their homes (the baby naming can be done for both boys and girls, btw) where people can "ooh" and "ahh" and "cootchie coo" over the new cherub, then eat tuna and egg salad on little tiny rolls if they feel they must. The only bris I've been to was for the firstborn of one of my college friends. It was 10 shantillion degrees in their house which was filled with at least 75 sweaty people, the mohel had hands that shook like my ancient pediatrician's when he unevenly pierced my ears*, the baby cried with the shrieks of a thousand untuned string instruments, and then everyone ate the little sandwiches. It seemed like the most bizarre series of activities to group together that I've ever been a part of in my entire life, and I swore right then that I would never go to another bris.
And I've kept that commitment.
Not that I've been invited to that many circumcisions in my lifetime, but I think it's important to take a stand sometimes. What have you put your foot down about lately?
* I might be exaggerating a little about the mohel's shaky hands, but not about my pediatrician or my ears.
Posted by cynical at April 14, 2008 08:37 PMMust resist temptation to recite hoary joke about mohel with watches in his storefront window.
But still have pleasant memories of an old SNL parody of some luxury-car commercial in which they substituted a mohel for a diamond cutter in the back seat as the car drove around.
Posted by: adamg on April 14, 2008 09:54 PMOh, you do realize that the link to your previous post is "Just a tip," right? :-).
Posted by: adamg on April 14, 2008 09:55 PMI didn't realize the juxtaposition until just this second. Hee. (And I do vaguely recall that SNL sketch. Cheeky monkey.)
Posted by: cynical on April 14, 2008 11:51 PMBoth of my sons were circumcised at the hospital. I somehow felt safer with them in the hands of the skillful Norwegian doctor than an old mohel with shaky hands and perhaps too many glasses of Manischewitz at the bris he had performed an hour earlier.
They both screamed bloody murder, I felt like crap for putting them through it, and their non-Jewish, Italian-Norwegian mother wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the day. Both times!
Posted by: Tod on April 15, 2008 04:18 AMwe're of the goy persuasion, but I (yes I) insisted geoff be circumcised. I've seen them with their little hats on and they are very unattractive. Very. And i worried for my son's future, that he may not get certain ... shall we say pleasures from his partners of the future if they are anything like me and yell "EWWWWW! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING!!!!" when they see an uncircumcised weenie.
My husband didn't want it done. But I'm right and he's wrong and maybe someday when Geoff is not all "I so can't talk to my mom about this kind of thing without puking" he may thank me.
My obgyn had 4 doctors in the practice, 3 male and 1 female. The female did the procedure. I was holding Geoff afterwards and our family practitioner came in to check on geoff. He opened the diaper and said "oooh. who did the cut?" so i told him and he said "wow. this is the best job i've EVER seen!" and right then she happened to come in and they talked about how awesome it was in front of me. as mom, i was a little woozy.
i'm babbling.
Posted by: christine on April 15, 2008 06:28 AMThe only mohel I've ever met was similar to the one Tod described...236 years old and palsied. It was scary to think that he was still in practice.
Posted by: Karan on April 15, 2008 11:33 PMi was my brother's bris. i was 10. i just felt bad for him. he screamed and screamed with his little bologna tongue.
Posted by: Amy on April 16, 2008 08:03 PMDid they serve "bris-ket" afterwards?
HAHAHAHAHA!
Happy Passover, bubbelah.